We have all pulled the classic toddler manoeuvre – hands over eyes, believing that if we can’t see the issue, the issue can’t see us. It feels clever in the moment. Then the credit-card bill, the awkward client relationship, or the medical referral quietly pitches a tent on our mental lawn, waiting for us to look up. Sooner or later we do, and the problem has grown claws.
I have spent enough years coaching high achievers – and enough years out-running my own mess – to know this truth: every minute you avoid a problem, the compound interest of stress ticks upward. Ghosting your problems might grant a short burst of relief, but the bill always arrives with interest.
The Hidden Tax of Avoidance
Think of your cognitive load as a bank account with one hundred mental dollars. Every unresolved issue siphons off a few dollars per day – the unanswered email, the overdue check-up, the half-finished conversation with your partner. Ignore them long enough and your account dips toward zero. Suddenly you cannot focus on strategy or creativity because the cheap seats are full of noisy open loops demanding attention.
I learnt this the hard way with consumer debt in my twenties. Each month the envelope would land in the letterbox, and I would skim the balance, feel the spike of shame, and stuff the statement in a drawer. By pretending the debt was abstract – “future Giorgio’s problem” – I allowed it to fatten. When I finally forced myself to tally the damage, it was uglier, not because the numbers were larger (though they were) but because my belief about what the numbers meant had swollen. I had spun a story: I am terrible with money, I’ll never get ahead, why even try? That narrative cost far more than the interest rate ever could.
Why We Hide – and Why It Doesn’t Work
Avoidance serves a purpose. It shields us from immediate discomfort. Yet discomfort delayed is discomfort multiplied. When you ghost the gym because you feel unfit, you remain unfit. When you dodge the difficult conversation with a client, resentment metastasises. Problems are patient; they will sit politely until you turn around. The longer you leave them, the scarier they appear.
Spotlight, Schedule, Solve – A Three-Step Circuit Breaker
- Spotlight
Grab a sheet of paper. Write down every loose thread in your world – finances, health, relationships, admin, that rattling sound in the car. No filtering, no judgement. Seeing the list in daylight shrinks the monster to a plush toy. - Schedule
For each item, estimate the first tangible action and block time in your calendar. “Call the mechanic – Wednesday 10 am.” The calendar converts intention into commitment. If it is not scheduled, it is just a wish. - Solve
When the block appears, act. Do not wait for motivation. Motivation follows action, not the reverse. Each resolved task refunds mental dollars to your account. Momentum compounds – clear one loop and you whip straight into the next.
Tools That Beat Fancy Apps
People love hunting for the perfect productivity system. Resist that siren song. A pen, paper and calendar outperform the flashiest app if you use them. Complexity is distraction in disguise. Keep it boring, keep it fast.
The Compounding Upside
As the loops close, you will notice something subtle yet profound: presence. A conversation with your partner feels lighter because your brain is not juggling thirty unresolved emails. Creativity returns because bandwidth is free. Energy flows to the task in front of you rather than leaking into a thousand half-finished worries.
Your Future Self Is Watching
Picture yourself twelve months from now. What load is that version of you carrying? Is it a backpack of crisp, resolved experiences or a shipping container of deferred decisions? The choice is being made today, moment by moment, in how you relate to each new challenge.
Ready to Face the Mirror?
If this message stings, good. Use the sting as fuel. Write the list, block the time, make the calls. And if you want support dissolving the internal stories that keep you stuck, DM “Depth” on Instagram. We will explore whether my one-to-one coaching is the right fit to help you clear the deck and move forward with purpose.