It seems like there’s a life coach on every corner these days. Everywhere you look there’s some new expert touting their ability to change your life. “Give me your money and I’ll change your life.” It’s not really trust-building is it? (I know that’s not what they’re actually saying but that’s how a lot of you interpret it).
When you see messages like this you might think to yourself, Why would I need a coach or consultant when I’ve been living just fine up until now?
That’s a valid question. However, I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t want to improve, change or empower some area of their life. I highly doubt you’ve woken up one morning and said to yourself, “That’s it. I’m done. I did it. Life is exactly how I want it to be in every way.” Usually, people reach a level or an achievement in their life and then aim higher, moving onto the next set of goals.
Side note – This is what has driven humanity forward and made sure that we don’t still all rent out caves and chase wild animals for meals in our loincloth.
You may think I’m here to convince you that you need a coach or a mentor. That’s not what I’m doing. This is just a conversation about what it’s like to have a coach or a mentor in your life. Actually, this is more a conversation about what it’s like to have a Giorgio (that’s me!), but more on that later.
With so many people becoming life coaches or business coaches it can be hard to distinguish one from another. Especially when they’re all over social media, selling their lifestyle pictures to you. Let’s be honest, how much have you desperately wanted to stand open-armed in a field of tall grass? You know the picture I’m talking about. (Clearly, no one thought to look out for snakes on that photoshoot).
My point here is that a lot of these experts are selling you that they can change your life, make you happier and help you achieve success. Admittedly that’s how I advertised my services when I first started out in this business. It didn’t work for me. That’s because I don’t change your life, I don’t make you happy and I don’t guarantee success. There’s no way in this world I can promise you that and I wouldn’t want to. My promise is to show you something infinitely more valuable. Keep reading.
A Valuable Checklist
Coaches and mentors should be bringing value into your life. I believe your coach or mentor should be following a set of standards to ensure you’re getting value from your relationship. Below is a list of what I believe they should be doing to help you.
Your coach / consultant / counsel / mentor/ advisor should;
- help you know and understand yourself (top priority!)
- question your beliefs and your thinking to the point of discomfort
- ask more questions than offer advice (the less advice, the better)
- help you understand and believe that you have the answers and solutions already
- show you that you’re not broken but exactly who you’re meant to be
- change your perception of past events by challenging your story
- provide you with the tools and skills to help you think freely and independently
- help you develop self-reliance (yes, that hurts their pockets)
- be prepared to navigate to places in your mind that you’re not prepared to go
- live what they’re telling you, helping you with and guiding you through (if they wouldn’t do it for themselves they shouldn’t be doing it with you)
- be humble enough to take on your feedback, questions or concerns about the results
Equally, having a set of standard to follow is useful. But having a set of potential traps is just as valuable. Below is a list of what I believe they should NOT be doing to make sure you get the most value.
Your coach / consultant / counsel / mentor/ advisor should NOT be;
- promoting positive thinking or the concept of pursuing happiness (<- a big cause of depression)
- keeping you on the phone to fill in the time of your consult (you may only need 15min. There’s no need for an additional 45min of noise and ego)
- pretending they have the answer to everything (if they don’t know the answer, best to admit it, go do research or refer to someone who does)
- more focused on showing you what they know than getting you the result you deserve
- encouraging the belief that something you experienced is traumatic, unfortunate or victimising (wiser to challenge your assumptions about what you experienced)
- imposing their beliefs or opinions on you (you’re there for their help and guidance which means you’re impressionable, allowing your natural ability to think freely to come to the surface is significantly more empowering)
- more concerned with their bank account than providing you with what will help you grow the most (even if that means losing you as a client)
- wasting your time with anything other than helping you get the results you deserve
Here is the hardest part of all of this. Years ago, I did all of the things in the shouldn’t list and did the opposite of what was on the should list. I only did it a very small amount of times but it was enough to learn important lessons quickly. I know only a handful of professional who’d be prepared to admit this publicly (they’re pretty amazing individuals). Life is an on-going class. The learning doesn’t stop for you and it certainly doesn’t stop for me. I don’t intend on stopping my learning, whatever the method (books, courses, mentors, experiences). The truth is, I can only ever help you as far as I’ve helped myself, so it’s my responsibility to continue to learn and grow with you. The same is true for anyone you work with to help you grow.
Let Me Be Clear
It’s easy to think that I have something you don’t have, something that you’re missing. That I have more than you in some way. It’s just not true. Any exceptional coach or mentor will show you things about yourself you didn’t see before. That’s what I do. It’s my job to see you for you who truly are and to see your potential. Being able to do so means I can show you what I see.
When my clients try to describe what I do to their friend or family they tend to struggle. Not because I’ve damaged the language centre in their brain but because it’s hard to describe what I do so instead they describe what it’s like to work with me. They’ve said things like, He’s a coach but he’s not a coach. He’s like a therapist but he’s not a counsellor. He knows a lot about a lot of things that can help you through life. It’s just like having a conversation with a friend who really wants to help you and knows how to.
“I reached out to Giorgio, when I hit a point that I felt I no longer knew how to help myself. All the rational thinking, bringing in of consciousness had gone out the window and I was being consumed by my “issue”. At the start of the session Giorgio asked me from a scale of 1 to 10 where was I at with 10 being the most affected, I answered a 9. At the same time, I was sceptical and wondered how well this would work. After an hour I was asked the same question, and to my surprise, as I checked in, my answer was a 1. I was blown away. Giorgio has a gentle yet very honest approach of guiding one through the process. I was impressed at how he was able to understand and capture what was needed to work through. He has since then continued to be very supportive answering any questions and checking on my progress. I would highly recommend Giorgio.” – Magaly Arenas
Imagine being able to look in the mirror and see someone different to who you see now. Someone you’re inspired by, someone who energises you, someone you can love and appreciate. Well, that’s exactly what I do with people. I don’t do it through changing anything about you. All I do is change how you see yourself and that alone changes what you see when you look in the mirror. It changes what you see when you look at the life you’ve lived and it changes who you believe you are. You’re the same person the whole time, you just change your perspective and then everything else changes.
You don’t have to work with me to get to experience this. You may have worked out how to do all of this on your own. If you did, congratulations, I couldn’t have done it alone. I had to learn a lot of what I know from the giants of the past and present to help me get to where I am today. You may even decide to work with someone else. That’s perfect. As long as you’re doing what you can to grow further into yourself, then I applaud you. At the very least, use the list above as a gauge to help you determine if who you’re working with is of exceptional quality and value. Bookmark this page if it helps you find it quicker.
If this checklist is the only way I can contribute to your life and your growth, then I’ve done my part.
Otherwise if, you’re looking to believe that the person in the mirror is an exceptional individual then be sure to contact me. I’m here to help you the best way I can. If you have any questions before working with me, I’d be happy to answer them during a phone call or Skype conversation. That way I can get a clear understanding of your situation and determine if I can help you the way you deserve. It also gives you a chance to get to know me and my style before committing to anything. After all, you would marry someone without going on a first date, would you? (I hope not).