The Endless Search For The Roots of Self-Belief

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6 years old and I had complete self-doubt about my ability to get through school. That’s a pretty epic belief to create at such a young age. But that’s how I felt.

I hated school and was so shaken up by the idea of being there that as I looked around at all the other kids in my class, I began to realise I was the only one upset by being there. That’s when I thought to myself “there’s something wrong with me.”

Way to go man! What a rock-solid way to start the next 10-year chapter of my life.

Progressing through my years at school was hard for me because I believed that I didn’t have what it took to get through school. Not necessarily academically or intellectually but character-wise. I felt like I didn’t have the resilience and determination to get through it. I wasn’t made of the ‘student ingredient’ that most kids had.

Basically, I didn’t believe in myself.

And since then I’ve been on a quest for self-belief and where we develop it. I believe we all have it. We all have a degree of self-belief and assurance, but it’s not easily found. That’s partly because we’re not taught how to uncover this power. I call it power because whenever I’ve woken up my own self-belief or any of my client’s self-belief, it’s as if they’ve just been powered on and every moment they’ve been lacking it has been a moment of stand-by.

We’re all waiting to be powered on, someone just has to help you find the switch. (This is what I do).

Believe it or not, I regularly have moments of doubt and a complete lack of confidence. Those moments can last longer than an hour and go as far as days, weeks and in some cases years. It’s hard and I personally don’t think that finding your self-belief is meant to be easy. It’s alike a graduation process that we are supposed to experience as we get schooled through life.

There have been consistent themes whenever I’ve found my self-belief and when I’ve been missing it.

Whenever I’ve allowed myself to do what I want my self-belief has expanded. Usually when I’ve said yes to the things that I want. I’m not talking about the big life-changing decisions like an around-the-world trip for 180 days, but the smaller, daily stuff. If I feel like reaching out to people and sharing a piece of insight or just having a conversation with someone I haven’t given myself the time to call.

We humans are creatures of habit and it takes momentum and the snowball effect of doing smaller stuff daily in order for the bigger decisions to be easier.

Another example – I wanted to read more books on random topics rather than books that directly relate to human behaviour and psychology. I know this is a weird thing to need permission for but you’ll be surprised how many things we stop ourselves from doing. So I decided during an intermission I took from life, that I was going to do more of that. The result? Well, I started to believe in myself again. I began to believe in my ability to make decisions in favour of what I wanted.

Doing more things like this helped my self-belief come to the surface. But there was something even bigger than helped me build that belief. It took me a while to work it out but the more I did it, the more I realised how important it was in keeping my self-belief in a healthy balance.

I stopped myself from hiding. That’s it. No other magic, sorry. (I’m not really sorry)

So if it’s simple, why is it so hard?

Firstly, simple is not a human concept that is easily understood. We love to complicate life to justify why we can’t do so many things.

Secondly, and more importantly, it’s because you must have the awareness that you’re hiding yourself in order to be able to change that.

So many of us are unconsciously hiding from the world. Whenever I’ve had a consultation with a client who is looking to reignite their self-belief, it consistently traces back to them stopping themselves from sharing their gift with people because they believe someone out there ‘better’ than them will judge them. Someone they perceive to be an expert or someone they simply look up to, like a family member or friend.

I know I’ve done it in the past and whenever I’ve allowed myself to get over it, things flow.

So here’s the thing. Stop it! They’re not you. When you really understand that you’ll stop trapping yourself in people’s shadows. Believe me, they would be honoured to know someone like you. If you feel yourself getting uncomfortable while you read this, then I’ve pushed the right button. Stop hiding in the shadows. That’s where mould and fungus thrive.

If you ever need a reminder, then watch the trees in the park. Trees root themselves in the ground for water and stability then they grow towards the sun, not towards the shadows. That’s no coincidence. Just saying…

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