Being Misunderstood For All The Dumbest Reasons

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Misunderstood – This must be the most overused album name in the history of the professional music world.

Being misunderstood is the most common breakdown of relationships, whether professional or personal. The neck-vein-inducing argument with your partner or the shirt collar boiling tension building at the office. Either way, they are always the direct result of a misunderstanding. Typically it’s on both sides of the equation.

Why do we end up misunderstanding each other??? I have no f*cken clue!

That’s not true… I do know.

You know when you say something to someone and they completely misinterpret what you’ve said and you think to yourself “where did they pull that from? I didn’t even say that!” <— That’s misunderstanding.

Guaranteed, you’ve done the same with someone else’s words. I’ve done it – I still do it to this day. There is a difference now. I acknowledge it and then communicate how I feel or what I’m thinking.

Example…

I was explaining to my mum that I was pissed off when she chose to do something for one of my sisters over doing what we had planned to do together. The result of her actions left me feeling abandoned and less important.

Her response wasn’t reassuring and comforting, telling me how much she loved me. Her response was “I didn’t abandon you. I just saw that your sister needed me and stepped in. Why would you think that?”

She misunderstood me. Which pissed me off even more until I stopped and reminded myself that the only reason she misunderstood me was because I didn’t explain myself clear enough.

I’ll write it again…

Whenever you’ve been misunderstood, it’s because you haven’t communicated yourself clearly. You’ve missed something (usually important) that they need to hear.

I went on to explain that the reason I felt abandoned and less important was because we had plans to do something important to me and at the drop of a dime she was willing to cancel our plans and go and do something for my sister.

In truth, it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me and my perception of the whole situation, but it was important that I communicate everything to mum so she could understand me, otherwise she’s left to fill in the blanks of what I haven’t told her and make a stack of assumptions about how I feel.

You can imagine what kind of story that would’ve built into inside her mind if I let that happen.

You know you’ve done it. Where you assume a lot of details that were left out and this incredibly elaborate story develops that’s worthy of a Grammy nomination for best screenplay.

The best way to eliminate confusion and misunderstanding is to communicate the left-out details. And if you’re the one doing the misunderstanding and have some level of self-awareness (you probably do because you regularly read our blog right!?) then ask more questions. They’ll lead you to what is really going on inside the other person’s head. No mind-reading required.

If you’re taking the time to ask more questions about the way they’re thinking and what they’re trying to say, then it’s likely they’ll open up more because you’re showing that you care, simply by asking more questions. <— That was gold if you truly get it.

So if you’re planning on recording a new platinum-selling album titled “Misunderstood”, make sure the first track on the album is titled “Let Me Tell You Everything.” That will allow you to name the follow-up album “I Told You Everything”.


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