There’s a common misconception that getting help means that there’s something wrong with you. Many people think that the action of reaching out to a professional for help somehow makes them "broken", "inferior", or "weak." But is that true?
How Your Mind Tricks Itself
This is a common trap that many people fall prey to. They get stuck in this pattern of thinking because they are comparing themselves to others. Have you fallen victim to this pattern of thinking? It's nothing to be ashamed of. It can happen so easily. You’re looking at other people’s lives, making judgments of them, and then making judgments of yourself. If you look up to them, then you immediately see your version of life as less than theirs.
This is why people attempt to keep up with the Joneses (or Kardashians). They see a lifestyle and decide that because they don’t have the same thing, it must make them inferior. Something is missing from their lives and it needs to be filled.
We all look up to certain people in life. They're people we aspire to be. They may be friends or family, or they may be global leaders, international icons, activists, CEO’s, thought leaders, or celebrities. Whoever they are, if you look up to them with the assumption that they don’t have professional help, then it's only natural that you’d be ashamed to admit that you’re getting help yourself.
"If they don't need help, then why do I?
Working with a mindset coach for guidance can make it seem like you don’t know how to handle life. It can trick you into thinking that there’s something wrong with you.
Here’s the irony - the self-assured people are the most willing to bring professional help into their lives. They’re prepared to ask for help because they know the value of having experts and masters-of-the-field advise and assist them in getting what they want from their lives. Makes sense, right?
Breaking the Vicious Cycle
So, why is it so hard for people to accept professional help? It's because it looks like admitting defeat. It's as if you failed at living your life the way you wanted, and now you need someone else to come in to show you how to live. But this simply isn’t the truth.
Your coach should not be telling you how to live your life, what to do, or make decisions for you. Their job is to help you get the clarity you seek and help you know yourself in ways that fortify your self-worth. Their job is also to help you understand your decision-making process and give you the tools to live your life authentically.
At the core of it all, their job is to show you that there is nothing wrong with you. Your only real struggle is that you weren’t taught how to appreciate yourself as you are. If you’re comparing yourself to people you see on social media, Youtube, or TV, then you’re not valuing yourself. That’s where most people trip up. So, does getting help mean you’re broken? No. It simply reflects that you’re struggling with how you see yourself. By choosing to bring a mentor or coach into your life to help you dramatically change how you see yourself, you’re equipping yourself to take your life into your own hands.
Does that make getting professional help something for the weak? Is an athlete weak for having a coach help them develop their strengths? Is a CEO or a global corporation weak for having advisors? Is a student weak for having a teacher?
Mentors and coaches have existed in societies since ancient Egypt. I know how that sounds, but back then, it was limited to the ultra-wealthy, and they had different names. Some of them were of low-quality and were too invested in their personal gain than those of the people they were advising.
Getting It Done Right – Don't Let the Industry Fool You
Today, professional help is significantly more accessible. That doesn’t mean all coaches and mentors are of the same quality. Just like any profession, many coaches get by doing the bare minimum, but some are willing to spend a lifetime mastering their craft.
Make sure that when you decide to hire a professional, you pick the one who’s mastering their craft. You'll be able to separate the masters of their craft quickly if you're paying attention and looking for the right cues.
Don't settle for anyone who aims to help you 'cope' with your emotions. Seek someone who will help you fully resolve your emotions so you can grow forward. Don't settle for cliches and heart-warming inspirational quotes. Seek actual results.
And here's the final secret that ties it all together. It's something the 'bare minimum coaches' don't want you to know because it would put them out of business. One hour of speaking with a true master in this field can replace years of work with a regular coach. This process, when done by a true professional, can collapse emotional charges, drastically shift perspectives, and get you moving forward within one conversation.
Don't be fooled by anyone who claims this must be a lengthy process. There is nothing wrong with you. Seek results. Even if all you do is speak for 1-hour, that 1-hour can be a life-changer if they’re a true master.