Pressure is inevitable. Life will throw challenges at you, responsibilities will stack up, and at times, you’ll feel like you’re drowning. But what if I told you that pressure itself isn’t the problem?
It’s your perception of pressure that determines whether it crushes you or strengthens you.
Pressure is Neutral—It’s How You See It That Matters
Most people assume that pressure is inherently bad. They think stress means something is wrong, that feeling overwhelmed is a sign of failure. But pressure, in and of itself, is neutral.
Think about it:
- The same heat and pressure that can crush something also turns carbon into a diamond.
- The weight a bodybuilder lifts is what strengthens their muscles.
- The tension in a violin string is what allows it to produce sound.
Pressure is just a force. It’s neither good nor bad. What makes the difference is how you perceive and respond to it.
Your Mindset Determines Whether Pressure Helps or Hurts You
Have you ever faced a high-stakes situation and surprised yourself by how well you handled it? Maybe it was a big presentation, a tough conversation, or an unexpected crisis. You might have thought beforehand, “There’s no way I can do this,” but somehow, you did.
Now think of another time where the pressure felt unbearable. Maybe you shut down, avoided the challenge, or felt completely crushed by the weight of it.
Here’s the thing: The circumstances might have been similar, but your perception of yourself in that moment made all the difference.
The people who thrive under pressure aren’t superhuman—they just see pressure differently.
Reframing Pressure: The Key Mindset Shift
If you struggle with pressure, here’s a simple yet powerful shift:
Stop seeing pressure as something happening to you. Start seeing it as something happening for you.
Instead of asking:
- “Why is this happening to me?”
- “How am I supposed to handle this?”
- “What if I fail?”
Ask yourself:
- “What is this teaching me?”
- “How is this shaping me into a stronger person?”
- “Where have I handled pressure before and succeeded?”
When you shift your perception, you regain control. You start to see pressure as an opportunity rather than a threat.
The Myth of Discipline—It’s Not What You Think
A lot of people believe that handling pressure requires “discipline.” But when we hear the word “discipline,” we often think of punishment, strict routines, and forcing ourselves to push through. That’s why so many people struggle with it.
In reality, the most “disciplined” people aren’t forcing themselves to do hard things. They’re simply doing what they love—what excites and challenges them.
Think about a teenager gaming for hours. They’re not “disciplined” in the traditional sense. They’re just engaged in something they find rewarding.
The same applies to high performers—athletes, entrepreneurs, leaders. They’re not constantly “forcing” themselves to grind. They’ve simply found a way to connect what they do with something meaningful.
If pressure feels unbearable, ask yourself:
🔹 Am I forcing myself into something I don’t actually care about?
🔹 Or can I find a way to connect this challenge to something that excites me?
When you do, handling pressure becomes a whole lot easier.
Turning Pressure Into an Advantage
If you’re dealing with pressure right now, try this exercise:
1️⃣ Think of a time you handled pressure well.
- What was different about that situation?
- How did you perceive yourself in that moment?
2️⃣ Identify the gift in your current challenge.
- What skill is this pressure forcing you to develop?
- How will this experience prepare you for the future?
3️⃣ Reframe the situation.
- Instead of saying, “I have to do this,” try, “I get to do this.”
- Instead of thinking, “This is too much,” say, “This is making me stronger.”
Every pressure-filled moment is shaping you into someone more resilient, more capable, more prepared for what’s next.
Final Thoughts
You are not defined by the pressure you face—you are defined by how you respond to it.
Reframe pressure, extract the lesson, and use it as fuel to move forward. Because at the end of the day, the challenges you face today are preparing you for what comes next.
[00:00:00] All right, welcome to another episode of the podcast. In this episode, I want to talk about something that I personally struggled with a long time ago, and that's dealing with pressure in life. What's really fascinating when it comes to our personal struggle with pressure is how it can determine whether or not we step up to the plate that life is presenting us to step up to.
It's an interesting experience that I see many people wrestle with. And it ultimately comes down to our perception of the circumstances, and our perception of ourselves. See, pressure itself, inherently, isn't a bad thing. Like, all things in life, it's actually neutral. In fact, I would argue that pressure can be helpful.
Just think of the analogy of a diamond, right? It's carbon that has been under a lot of pressure for a really long time, eventually [00:01:00] turns to lead. to a diamond, you know, and we're talking about millions of years to get there. And so it's easy to perceive that perception is a bad thing when you feel crushed by it.
In truth, pressure can be just as valuable as it is crippling. So then what's the difference between circumstances where we feel crushed by pressure and we feel An experience of growth when we're dealing with pressure. Well, it's just your perception because there are times in your life where you've had experiences.
I'm sure of it. If you spend the time and reflect on it, you will find moments that you thought would have been pressurizing and challenging and overwhelming, but you found a way to navigate your way through it relatively simply. It wasn't overwhelming. It wasn't crushing you. It wasn't this. Huge [00:02:00] experience that you were traumatized by, you just found your way through it and came out the other end.
And then there were experiences that you've had where you thought you'd be fine, then the pressure started getting to you, and the pressure started to build momentum to the point where you started feeling crushed by it. And maybe even had to give up, walk away, or step away from whatever the situation was.
In both of those situations, it's ultimately about your perception of the circumstances, rather than the circumstances themselves. Because you've been in situations that have had More pressure, more responsibility and more challenges to navigate and found your way through it than other times where you've been crushed by it and there were relatively simple issues to deal with.
So for me, my own experience, I know that my struggle with [00:03:00] dealing with pressure in the past was purely down to my perception of it. And predominantly my perception of myself, because I believed that I didn't have what it took to be able to navigate high pressure situations. And in a lot of the circumstances in my life, if somebody had said to me, Look, in 12 months time you're going to be dealing with this.
this particular challenge, this particular issue. Um, you know, good luck with it. I hope you the best. I wouldn't have believed that I could handle it, but then the circumstance would come along and I found myself navigating and I just did it without any concern whatsoever. And I kind of surprised myself.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that I was delighted, but I was certainly surprised and caught off guard by how well I was able to navigate that situation. And the only difference was the way I was perceiving it, and myself.
This translates through to all [00:04:00] different areas of life. Predominantly forms of leadership. And I define leadership as anybody that's willing to be themselves. Authentic, true selves, in whatever the circumstances are. Whether that's as a CEO in a business, or in a position of leadership in any of the executive positions, a founder, somebody in finance, a politician, you know, there's some question marks around politicians at the moment and I totally understand that.
But even parenthood is a position of leadership where you are leading your child or children, the family, through what it means to be authentic, what it means, what it means to navigate their lives. And so, In all areas of life, being able to deal with pressure is really important. And so my preference is, especially as a parent, is not to have people protected from pressure and challenges in life, [00:05:00] equip people with the tools and the understanding, and especially the self belief that they can handle pressure.
They can navigate those circumstances to the best of their ability. And what that does is it gives them a sense of empowerment. So it stops being about how can I protect myself from life circumstances to Whatever life throws at me, I know I will find a way through it. I don't know now how I will, but I trust that I will.
And developing that self belief and self trust will carry you further through anything than trying to avoid different pressures and challenges. In my past, when I was really insecure about my ability to deal with pressure, I went on a little bit of a quest to see if I could find out what was so unique about people in high pressure situations and how they were able to handle it because I found myself comparing myself to these people quite a bit and I wanted to know what it was that made them so able and capable to deal with these [00:06:00] situations.
And why I felt like I couldn't. And what I found was really fascinating as I dug into biographies of different leaders in different positions in different fields, was they all did not see the challenges that they were facing as overwhelming. It was ultimately their perception. And in some instances, some of these people were actually Referencing their friends and family or colleagues and peers around them saying how overwhelmed they were by the circumstances this individual was navigating, but they found themselves just dealing with it to the best of their ability.
Which tells me again, it was, this ultimately comes down to a perception, how we see it and where we see the issue from, which this is a little bit of a tangent, but it's related because I see a lot of talk out there, especially in the entrepreneurial space and high performance space of discipline [00:07:00] and that you need to develop the discipline in order to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.
And while there's some truth to that. I think the word discipline is loaded because whenever we talk about discipline and whenever we hear the word discipline, we typically hear, uh, routine and pain and punishment and very strict rules and restriction. But what's really fascinating is discipline is just routine.
It's just habit. Repetitious habit. Going and going and going and going and going. And the people that you judge as being highly disciplined, what's really fascinating about this when you get into the psyche of these individuals is that they don't necessarily see themselves as disciplined. They just see themselves as doing the thing they want to be doing.
And to the outside world, it appears to be disciplined, but it's not. They're just, [00:08:00] If there's something you want to do, and you experience a sense of fulfilment or contentment from doing the thing, and that contentment and fulfilment is a reward, you will continue to do those things, and you will repeat doing those things, you will want to do as much of it as possible.
Think about a teenager gaming on a, on a Playstation or Xbox. If they're given the freedom to do whatever they want, they will get as many hours of gameplay in and, you know, that will get some judgment from the outside, but you could argue that this teenager is really disciplined in their gaming, but they don't see themselves as disciplined.
I didn't get up in the morning and smash a bowl of Cheerios. And then hook themselves up to the gaming console and say, right, well, I better do my thing today because if I don't, I'm not going to get my hours in and I'm not going to develop my abilities. They're not punishing themselves to do it. They're doing something they genuinely want to do and they experience a reward for it.
The satisfaction of progress, the satisfaction of [00:09:00] the rewards that they get in the game. Maybe even the social aspect, if they're streaming while they're playing, or if they're, um, gaming against others online, whatever it may be, there's a reward that they're experiencing on the back of that. And so they continue to do more of that, which is why it appears to be an addiction, but they're just doing the thing that they genuinely want to be doing at that point.
So, you could argue that they're being disciplined, but in reality, they're just pursuing something that, that they love. Even when they fail, even when they're not getting the scores they want, or they're not making the progress they want to a specific area in the game, or they're not getting certain rankings, they persist with it because there's enough of a reward in the doing of it that they'll stick with it.
And you can see this across the board with high performers, professional athletes, pro bowlers. Uh. People in positions of leadership, CEOs, who are dealing with all kinds of economic challenges or business challenges internally, and they will find a [00:10:00] way to navigate it, because to them it's not discipline, to them it's, they, they see it as an opportunity to be able to do what they love doing.
And so, this ties in to our perception of pressure, because other people might look at those circumstances as highly pressurizing, but these individuals see it as something that they genuinely want to do. And so, there isn't so much pressure associated with it. Or if they do have a perception of pressure associated with it, it's not a negative one.
It's not skewed into the negative and painful. It's just skewed into a kind of pressure that wakes them up and livens them, gives them a reason to get up and go. I remember when I was a teenager and I was gaming. I was playing on my Xbox and Nintendo. And I found that there were days that I didn't do so well.
I didn't make so much progress in the games that I was playing. The following morning, especially if it was during the holiday vacation period, the summer period here in [00:11:00] Australia, I would get up the next morning, even though I struggled the day before trying to make it through certain levels, I would get up the next day with an enthusiasm to tackle the challenge of going after it and seeing if I could make that progress.
And sometimes it would be days back to back where I just get stuck on the same level, but I persisted enough to break through and then move on to the next level. Externally appears to be disciplined, but to me, it was just, it was enthusing. It was something that energized me. It was something that kind of gave me a reason to get up and go, because otherwise.
The school holiday vacation period started to get a little bit boring, especially the summers get really hot here. So it was a reason for me to stay inside and stay out of the heat without getting sunburned and without dealing with dehydration, whatever else, especially during, you know, the midday hours.
And I'd be able to throw myself into this thing and I loved it. I enjoyed it. Kind of felt [00:12:00] creative because I was problem solving. That's not discipline. That's not pressure. That's something that you. A sort of called to do and I know that I'm talking about gaming and people being called to game is an unusual thing, but it's more about being called to solve problems and do something that actually inspires you and gives you a reason to get up that you feel enthusiastic about.
That's what all of this is about. And that's the difference in the perception that people have when it comes to pressure. I'll show this other personal example. Before I started getting into coaching as a coach, I was absorbing all of these different ideas around philosophy, psychology, mindset, human behavior.
And it was making sense to me. I was, it was really helping me make sense of myself. It makes sense of the world. I felt like I was being given puzzle pieces that I was struggling to find for such a long time, which [00:13:00] enabled me to work on myself. And as a result of working on myself, when other people were sharing difficulties that they were wrestling with, like anxiety or depression, I'd share some of the insights that I learned along the way and say, Hey, like consider it this way, here's a reframe or here's.
Here's a different perspective on that and it seemed to have an effect to what extent I don't know because I didn't follow up because these were social settings but it seemed to help these people and they were also appreciative of how much I was able to simplify what felt like a really abstract and complex.
Issue of the mind and our behavior and so I started to have a couple of people encouraged me to consider being a coach and I was really resistant to it. I had a lot of anxiety about being a coach because to me that was way too much responsibility and the pressure from that responsibility of helping people with their lives.
It was too much, [00:14:00] it felt overwhelming. And I said to them point blank, I'm like, there's no way I'm going to help people with their lives when I'm struggling to work out my own life. How could I possibly help guide somebody else through their life? And probably some really meaningful, big life decisions.
And what's fascinating is, while that anxiety was present, and overwhelming me at the time, eventually I came around to the idea, and it took me a little while, it took me about a year to fully embrace the idea of coaching, I sort of dabbled in it, and explored it, and then stepped out, and then dabbled again, until I fully committed to it, and uh, I'm I found that my perception of it changed because I realized that I didn't have to take the responsibility on of other people's lives and carry their lives on my back.
I could just offer the insight and experiences and the knowledge that I've learned to them to help them. And then they [00:15:00] get to choose what they want to do with it. And so because of the reframe, I started seeing the experiences less pressurizing and there was less responsibility with it. Still responsibility to be.
considerate and to treat people like you actually care about them, like you would give the advice or guidance to a family member that you care about. But the level of responsibility and pressure dropped. As far as my perception goes, the level of responsibility and pressure didn't actually change from when it was suggested to me to be a coach to when I actually started doing it and feeling okay with it.
The only thing that changed was my perception of it. Now, fast forward, what has it been? 13, 14 years. And the amount of people that I've served in various positions of leadership and influence throughout life, and from all different parts [00:16:00] of the world, I've been able to help people navigate a lot of different challenges in their life.
Which were very big and overwhelming that their own family and friends struggled to help them with, but we were able to find a clear line through the challenges together on our coaching sessions that has happened because my perception of the pressure and the responsibility is not overwhelming. Now, I know people that know what I do.
They don't necessarily know who I'm serving because that's private. That's confidential, they don't know exactly what I'm working on, because that's also confidential. But they understand the level of pressure that I deal with when it comes to helping people and navigate some of the biggest challenges in their lives.
And for them, if they were in my position, dealing with calls day in and day out, every week with clients not knowing what's going to be on the other end of that call, for them that's crushing. That's anxiety inducing. They're like, I don't want a bar of that. They have the same perception that I had when I first started, [00:17:00] that I'm struggling to do with my own stuff.
How could I possibly help somebody with theirs? But to me, I don't see it that way. And so, because I don't see it, there isn't a significant level of pressure that comes with that. There isn't a significant level of responsibility. I take the responsibility and I respect it, but I'm not crushed by it and it's only because of my perception.
So, if you're looking to dig yourself out from under the hole that is challenging and overwhelming when it comes to dealing with pressure, no matter what it is, pick something that's present in your life. And if you don't have anything present right now, Look back to an experience in your life that you were dealing with pressure and I would suggest picking one where the pressure felt painful or overwhelming or negative in some way and ask yourself How is this pressure helping you?
How is it enhancing your life? How is it teaching something new [00:18:00] about yourself? How are you learning something new about yourself through that experience of that pressure because all experiences harbor a gift And in a lot of cases, multiple gifts. So why not explore what that is and see if you can extract the value and the gift from the experience so you no longer see these pressuring situations as painful.
Because there's a lot there for you that you're overlooking as an opportunity to extract gold from, that you get to take with you throughout the rest of your life. The truth is, no matter what happens, whatever the circumstance it is, it's helping you prepare for what comes next. This is a saying that I had when I was developed my career in coaching, that I realized that everything that happens up until this moment is preparing me for what comes next.
That's true at all times in your life. So, whatever [00:19:00] pressure you've had to deal with in your life was actually preparing you for what was coming next down the pipeline. And the same is true right up until this very moment. Whatever you're dealing with today is preparing you for what comes next. And you wouldn't be ready for what comes next if you hadn't gone through what you're currently going through and what you've been through in your past.
So utilize that. And extract as much value and gold and wisdom as you can from those experiences because they will inform how you deal with what comes next. And you will probably deal with what comes next differently as a result. So if you're trying to break this pattern of feeling overwhelmed by pressure and responsibility, ask yourself, what's the gift of it?
What am I learning about myself? What can I extract from it? Really spend time answering that question as much as you possibly can. That changed my life. And whenever I face a new challenge that I feel a little ill prepared for, I jump into that question. How is this helping me? What am I learning about myself?[00:20:00]
And immediately I start to unlock nuggets of value, which then calm down the anxiety or the frustration or the pressure that I'm dealing with or the overwhelm. And it equips me with a sense of empowerment to tackle the challenge with a clearer mind. Because when we're feeling overwhelmed and we're dealing with uh, anxiety and frustration and worry and concern, we're not thinking clearly and we rarely see the appropriate and most effective solution to whatever problem we're facing.
So if you're calming all of that down, you calm down the amygdala and the emotional centers of the brain, which then allow your executive functioning prefrontal cortex of the brain to come back online, fully engaged. which has a clearer picture of the most appropriate solution. As the saying goes, fear gives the worst advice.
And so if you're dealing with overwhelm, you tend to react out of fear and make unwise decisions that tend to [00:21:00] perpetuate the issue and the pressure that you're dealing with. So do the exercise. It's really simple. Simple doesn't mean easy because it's forcing you to look at the thing that's uncomfortable and find value in it.
Most people will just look at things superficially, look at it at the surface, judge it at surface level and say, that's painful. I don't want anything to do with that. And they try to avoid it and push it away. That's not serving you. 'cause the more you avoid the things that are challenging you, the less likely you are to get where you are trying to go because the things that you would love to have in your life or on the other side of the challenges you're avoiding.
So start stepping up to those challenges and I assure you, when you start to realise that there are gifts in that for you, that have nothing to do with the destination and have everything to do with the journey, you're more likely to arrive at a really fascinating destination in your life. So, reframe pressure.
[00:22:00] Pressure is not good nor bad, it's both equally. And it's giving you a lot of opportunities, but it's up to you to extract what those opportunities are and find them. Because that's where most people overlook pressure and challenges and say, I want none of it. So they're throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
Don't do that. Hold on to that baby. Get rid of the bathwater. So with that being said, I hope there was value in this. Please come back to this episode if you ever find yourself dealing with a lot of pressure, because it may be the reminder and the prompt that's gonna help you. And if there's someone you currently know that's wrestling with pressure, please send this to them.
It might be exactly what they need to hear. Certainly would have been great for me earlier in my life if I had heard these wonderful insights that I've learned. So with that being said, thank you for being here. Thanks for listening and watching. Please take the time to leave a review. We're collecting reviews, which is amazing.
And I thank all of you that are leaving reviews. So please leave more. It helps, it helps prop up the podcast and get it out to more [00:23:00] people and let other people know that there is some value here if they spend time listening. Anyway, that's it for me. I'm Georgio Janis, thanks for being here, see you in the next episode.